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                         L'CHAIM - ISSUE # 1103
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                 Lubavitch Youth Organization - L.Y.O.
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             THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION FOR EVERY JEWISH PERSON
   Dedicated to the memory of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson N.E.
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        January 8, 2010          Shemos           22 Tevet, 5770
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                        Honor, Esteem & Respect

Though published over a decade ago, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
Venus is still garnering pop-culture references in all forms of media.
Well, long before John Gray's book  ever hit the bestsellers list,
Judaism always opined that men and women are different!

In the Talmud, our Sages say it clearly and succinctly: "Women are a
people unto themselves."

Since men and women are different and Judaism acknowledges these
differences, the Torah has much to say about the relationship between
husband and wife.

The Talmud advises husbands, "Love your wife as much as yourself and
honor her more than yourself."

Maimonides suggests to wives, "Honor your husband more than is
necessary."

Honor, esteem, and respect - these are fundamental aspects of a Jewish
marriage.

But what about love? Isn't love an integral component of a Torah
marriage?

Let's look at the Jewish concept of love.

The word for love in Hebrew is "ahava" which comes from the word "hav,"
meaning "give."

The world says, "What can I get out of this marriage? What can I gain?
What's in it for me?"

The Torah says, "What can I put into this relationship? What can I
give?" The Torah teaches us that the way to foster love is not by taking
but rather by giving, and being a willing and active recipient.

Just for a minute, think about that cute little baby - your own child,
the neighbor's, your niece or nephew, or grandchild.

A natural reaction when around an infant is to pick it up, and cuddle
it. Before you know it, you'll find yourself saying "I love you" to the
baby. What has the baby given to you? Nothing. But you are giving to the
baby - hugs, cuddles, kisses, coos - and this giving evokes in you a
love for the baby.

Society teaches that each of us is the center of the world.

The Torah, however, teaches that G-d is the center of the world.

If we make room in our lives, and especially in our marriages, not only
for our partner, but also for G-d, we have a tested formula for a stable
marriage.

This is beautifully expressed by our Sages in their discussion of
husband and wife.

"Man" in Hebrew is "ish"; woman is "isha."

Both words have two letters in common, "alef" and "shin," which spell
"fire."

The two disparate letters are "yud" and "hei."

When yud and hei are combined they spell one of G-d's names. When
husband and wife live without G-d in their midst, all that is left is
"aish" - an all-consuming fire.

The Torah calls the wedding ceremony "kidushin," meaning
"sanctification."

And the word for marriage comes from the Hebrew "to lift up."

If husband and wife devote themselves to lifting each other up
throughout the ups and downs of marriage by following the guidelines of
the Torah, they will be truly sanctified and their marriage will be
holy.

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           LIVING WITH THE REBBE  -  THE WEEKLY TORAH PORTION
*********************************************************************
This week we begin the Book of Exodus with the Torah reading of Shemot.
Our portion opens with a list of the names of the Children of Israel who
went down to Egypt, describes the slavery that began after the death of
Jacob and his sons, and narrates the birth of Moses, the Redeemer of the
Children of Israel.

As every Jew is obligated to remember and "relive" the exodus from Egypt
every day in the spiritual sense, it follows that each stage in the
Jewish people's historical descent to and liberation from Egypt contains
deep significance and meaning that is pertinent to our daily lives.

The primary threat of the entire Egyptian experience was expressed in
Pharaoh's decree: "Every son that is born you shall cast into the
river."

The mighty Nile River, upon which all of Egypt was dependent for its
sustenance, is symbolic of the laws of nature. Venerated as a god by the
Egyptians, the Nile's waters periodically rose to fertilize their
otherwise parched land.

The objective of the Egyptians was for the Jews to reject a G-d Who
transcends nature and join them in their devotion to natural phenomenon.

While still in their own land, such a possibility was inconceivable to
the Jewish people.

In Israel, the direct relationship between man and G-d was open and
apparent: Whenever rain was needed, the Jewish people had only to pray
to G-d, and He sent His blessing. It was not hard to perceive that all
good emanates from G-d alone. It was only after emigrating to Egypt, a
land fertilized by the natural, periodic rising of the Nile, that the
possibility for error could even arise.

The subjugation of the Jews could not begin while Joseph and his sons
still lived, for that generation had personally witnessed Divine
Providence and understood that the forces of nature are only G-d's
tools. Slavery, in both the physical and spiritual sense, could only
take root in a new generation that had not merited to live in the land
of Israel.

It was then that the true descent into Egypt began and Pharaoh was able
to issue his evil decree -- the aim of which was the immersion of the
Jewish people into the idolatrous worship of natural law.

Moses, G-d's "faithful servant," was the one who gave the Children of
Israel the strength to break the bonds of servitude and abandon the lure
of Egyptian idolatry.

Moses instilled in his brethren a pure and holy faith in G-d, at a time
when it was difficult for them to even imagine that such holiness could
exist. In the merit of their belief the Jewish people overcame the
decree of Pharaoh and were redeemed from Egypt.

This process is experienced by every Jew in his daily life as well. By
beginning the day with prayer and Torah learning, a Jew is able to
perceive his direct relationship with G-d, and maintain this perception
throughout the rest of the day.

The attribute of Moses that exists within every Jew reminds him that
everything - including those things that appear to be perfectly natural
phenomena - comes solely and directly from the One Above.

                 Adapted from Likutei Sichot of the Rebbe, Vol. XVI

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                             SLICE OF LIFE
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                         A Subway Conversation
                            by Malka Touger

On a stormy winter day in 2001, Rabbi Shalom Lew, the Lubavitcher
Rebbe's emissary in Glendale, Arizona, with his wife and two small
children, had just finished an inspiring visit to the Rebbe. They were
now standing before the ticket booth trying to buy tokens for the
subway.

The plan was to take the subway to Hartford, Connecticut, to visit Mrs.
Lew's family and then fly to Glendale. But they overlooked one thing:
small change.

It just so happened that all they had were two hundred dollar bills and
the subway clerk at the token booth would not accept bills larger than
$20. They were stuck. Mrs. Lew was feverishly looking through her purse,
the children were getting restless and the solution was not in sight.
He'd have to miss the train, run up the stairs into the storm and look
for change.

Suddenly they heard a woman's voice from behind them. "Can I help? What,
you don't have change? Here I have change... it's only a few dollars."

It was a friendly, well-dressed young woman smiling pleasantly with a
few dollar bills in her outstretched hand. In no time they were through
the turnstile and on the subway, the woman right ahead of them looking
for seats.

After the subway began to move Rabbi Lew went over to the woman, and
thanked her profusely. "No problem," she said, "I know how it is to
travel with small children. I'm glad to help."

They spoke a bit and somehow it entered Rabbi Lew's mind to ask her if
she was Jewish and, when the answer was positive, if she lit Shabbat
candles.

"No, I don't" she replied. "What good is it if I just do one commandment
when I don't do any others? I don't observe the Shabbat, I'd be lying to
myself if I lit Shabbat candles."

Suddenly Rabbi Lew remembered a conversation his grandfather, Reb Zalman
Jaffe of Manchester, England, told him that he had had years earlier
with the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

The Rebbe made a speech that revolutionized Judaism. Until that speech,
Torah Judaism had been on the defensive; trying to ward off
non-religious influences. But the Rebbe changed all that.

He declared in a farbrengen (Chasidic gathering) that Judaism holds the
solution to all the world's problems. If every Jew does a commandment,
even one, it will fill the world with meaning and blessings unequaled in
the history of man: Moshiach will arrive.

The Rebbe told his Chasidim to begin with Tefilin for men and Shabbat
candles for women. They had to go into the streets if necessary and
change the world.

Shortly thereafter Reb Zalman Jaffe reported to the Rebbe that he had
approached a neighbor of his (an unheard of thing in England) with the
suggestion that she light candles and she answered, "What good will just
one commandment do when I am completely non-observant?" (Exactly like
the woman was answering Rabbi Lew in the subway!)

Mr. Jaffe replied that each commandment has a special quality, a "charm"
and blessing of its own, not connected to the others. The Lubavitcher
Rebbe, smiled and nodded in complete agreement with his approach.

So Rabbi Lew, inspired by this memory, said the exact same words. But,
although the woman seemed pleased with the conversation, she did not
seem at all convinced. When her stop came she bade the rabbi and his
wife a polite farewell and exited the subway

Three years later Rabbi Lew got an email:

"Dear Rabbi Lew.

"I got your email address from Chabad.org. My name is Melissa. You
probably don't remember me. I met you and your family almost four years
ago in the subway in Crown Heights. I gave you change for the hundred
dollar bill so you could get on the train and you tried to convince me
to light Shabbat Candles.

"Well, believe it or not, it took some time but I lit them. Just one
commandment, like you said, with no connection to anything else.

"But it didn't stop there. I got married to a wonderful Jewish man by
the name of Marty and we decided to start doing more.

"Believe it or not, today we keep most of the laws of Shabbat, eat
kosher food and hope to have a completely Jewish house. I just wanted to
thank you for caring. Since then I've thought a lot about what you said:
'Just light candles,' and I just want you to know that because of those
words I am the person I am today, believe it or not! If possible please
keep in contact. Melissa."

A few days later Rabbi Shalom Lew called his father, Rabbi Shmuel Lew in
London and told him the story; especially how the memory of his
grandfather's conversation with the Rebbe put the right words in his
mouth on the subway.

"Amazing!" His father exclaimed. "You'll never guess where I'm just
coming from! I was just at the engagement party of a young lady who told
me that she is an observant Jew today thanks to a conversation your
grandfather Zalman, had with her grandmother years ago about lighting
candles.

"That was the conversation you remembered on the subway!"

                    From Excuse Me, Are You Jewish? Emet Publishing

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                               WHAT'S NEW
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                             New Emissaries

Rabbi Laibel and Chanie Berkowitz will be moving soon to Huntsville,
Alabama, where they will be starting a new Chabad House serving the
Jewish community of Northern Alabama.

Rabbi Levi and Leah Lipskar recently moved to Johannesburg, South
Africa, where they will be working with the young professionals in the
community through the Shul at Hyde Park. Mrs. Lipskar will also be
involved in launching a branch of the Friendship Circle in Johannesburg.

Rabbi Shimi and Rochel Susskind recently arrived in Vernon Hills,
Illinois, where they are establishing a new Chabad Center to serve the
Jewish community there.

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                            THE REBBE WRITES
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                   Aleph d'Rosh Chodesh Tammuz, 5710
                             June 15, 1950

This is in reply to your question regarding the significance of the
custom during the marriage cere-mony that the bride makes seven circuits
around the groom under the Chuppah [wedding canopy].

The answer to this question, it seems to me, has to cover the following
sub-questions: 1) The significance of the circuit, 2) its repetition
seven times, 3) the bride circling around the groom and not vice versa,
4) the bride then joining the groom, standing by his side within the
circle.

I trust that the following may give you a satisfactory answer.

It is stated in the Zohar (Part III, 7:2) that mar-riage, which is a
union of two distinct persons, is in reality a union of two halves of
the same soul. Each one, when born, possesses but half (*) of that soul
which becomes one and complete only in wedlock, through Chuppah and
Kiddushin [sanctification].

This is why marriage is one of the greatest soul-stirring experiences of
the bride and groom, for their respective souls have found at last the
other half. Something of this joy is experienced, by way of
illustration, at the re-union of two close relatives or beloved friends
who had been separated for decades.

To a certain extent, therefore, the marriage marks the beginning of a
complete and full life, while the pre-marital life of either the bride
of groom may be considered in the nature of a preparatory period.

The union of the two parts of the same soul is not a union of two
identical halves which make one whole. But they complement each other,
each of them enriching the other with powers and qualities which
hitherto were not possessed by him or her. For the "masculine" and
"feminine" parts of the souls have basic differences, reflecting,
broadly speaking, the character differences of the sexes. One such
difference is what our Sage called "the nature of the male to conquer,"
i.e., the propensity of the male to conquer new provinces (in business,
profession, science, etc.) outside his home. This quality is generally
not found in the female. On the other hand, the woman is called in our
sacred literature the "Foundation of the House," for within the house
her personality and innermost qualities are best expressed and asserted
(Psalms 45:14).

It has been mentioned earlier that marriage, in a sense, marks the
beginning of a full life. The wedding ceremony reflects this by an
allusion to the beginning of all life. The Blessings of Betrothal
(Birchoth Hanesuin) also begin with a reference to the creation of the
first man, the first woman, and their wedding.

Ever since the Creation of the world, human life has been based on the
seven-day cycle. G-d created the world in six days and hallowed the
seventh as a day of rest. Man was then commanded to work for six days of
the week, but to dedicate the seventh as a Sabbath unto G-d. When a Jew
is about to set up a home and begin a full life, it is fitting that this
basic principle of a happy life should be symbolized during the wedding
ceremony.

Hence the "Seven Days of Feasting," and the "Seven Blessings" (Sheva
Berachoth). This brings us also to the seven circuits of the bride
around the groom.

Bearing the above in mind, as well as the earlier introductory remarks
concerning the basic character differences between the male and female,
the ceremony of the seven circuits which the bride makes around the
groom suggest the following explanation:

The groom, who takes the initiative(**) in bringing the union to fruition,
is initially the center of the new Jewish home. He is the first to take
his place under the Chuppah. When the bride is led to the Chuppah, she
proceeds to make a circle around the groom. This symbolizes the
delineation (in space) of their own world within the outer world, with
her husband-to-be as its center. She continues to make circuits one
after the other seven times, symbolizing that she, the "Foundation of
the House," founds an edifice that would be complete on the first day of
each and every week to come as on the second, third, etc., to the end of
all times and seasons, a lasting and "eternal edifice" (with the
infinity of the "cycle"). Her own contribution to this sacred union is
also implied in the fact that she makes the circuits around the groom.

Having completed the seven circuits, she stand besides her husband-to-be
in the center of the circle, for after the preparations for the building
of their home, both of them, the husband and the wife, form its center.
From here on, throughout the entire ceremony both the bride and groom
form the center of the holy ceremony, like king and queen surrounded by
a suite of honor. Their lives become united into One full and happy
life, based on the One Torah given by the One G-d.

With all good wishes and kindest personal regards,

* This does not mean, of course, that it is half a soul in every
respect, but in the sense that in some respects, viz. the setting up of
a home, an individual is but a "half," and his soul is likewise a
"half."

** This is expressed, e.g. by the saying of our Sages that "it is the
custom of the man to seek a wife." During the marriage ceremony this is
symbolized by the fact that the groom declares "Harei at, etc," (Be thou
betrothed unto me, etc.) while the bride remains silent.

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                            A CALL TO ACTION
*********************************************************************
                      Make a Bride and Groom Happy

It is a mitzva (commandment) to rejoice with a bride and groom and make
them happy. Many stories tell how our Sages used to go to weddings and
juggle, dance, or do other things to bring joy and gladness to the new
couple at their wedding. Today, people even prepare "shtick" - hats,
masks, etc. to enliven the festivities. Help enliven the next wedding
you attend and you'll be doing a big mitzva! As the Lubavitcher Rebbe
explained, "A wedding is to be suffused with joy, and joy breaks through
all boundaries and limitations, attaining the ultimate degree of
expansiveness."

    In memory of Rabbi Gavriel and Rivka Holtzberg and the other
    kedoshim of Mumbai

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                        A WORD FROM THE DIRECTOR
                         Rabbi Shmuel M. Butman
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This Sunday, 24 Tevet, is the anniversary of the passing of Rabbi Shneur
Zalman of Liadi, founder of Chabad Chasidism.

Rabbi Shneur Zalman, known by generations of Chasidim as "the Alter
Rebbe" (the "Elder Rebbe") was a rationalist and a mystic, a Kabbalist
and a Talmudist, a person utterly not of this world and at the very same
time very much a man of the world. All of these qualities and more were
harmoniously blended together in the Alter Rebbe.

At the age of five, Rabbi Shneur Zalman was accepted into the "Chevra
Kadisha," or Holy Society of his community. When he was only nine years
old he was considered accomplished in geometry and astronomy. He was so
proficient in the complicated laws of the Jewish calendar that he was
able to compose a 15-year calendar when he was only ten years old. At
the age of 12, he lectured publicly on Maimonides' intricate Laws of the
Sanctification of the New Moon and the pre-eminent Torah-scholars of
that time were utterly overwhelmed.

And yet, together with all of this great scho-larship, erudition and
wisdom was the ability to relate to every Jew, young or old, unlettered
or scholarly, pious or in need of spiritual guidance.

The Alter Rebbe explains in Tanya, his magnum opus, that the ultimate
purpose of the creation of the world is the Era of Moshiach. "It is
known that the Messianic era, especially the period after the
resurrection of the dead, is indeed the ultimate purpose and the
fulfillment of this world. It is for this purpose that this world was
originally created." (Ch. 36) But lest we think that we can just sit
back and expect it to happen on its own, the Alter Rebbe delineates our
responsibility to make it happen. "Now this ultimate perfection of the
Messianic era and the time of the resurrection of the dead... is
dependent on our actions and divine service throughout the period of
exile." (ch. 37)

May the Alter Rebbe's life and teachings inspire us to rise to the
occasion and cause the world to realize its purpose with Moshiach NOW!

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                          THOUGHTS THAT COUNT
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These are the names of the Children of Israel...seventy souls (Ex.
1:1-5)

In these verses G-d lists the individual names of the Jews who went down
to Egypt, then sums up by telling us how many there were in all. When
objects (or in this case, people) are counted, it is a reflection of
their common qualities. We count objects when we want to know their
number, regardless of their differences. On the other hand, when we
assign an object a name, it is generally a reflection of its
individuality, that which sets it apart from all others. These two
qualities - being part of a greater whole, and possessing individual
worth - are present in every Jew. Each of us possesses a spark of
Jewishness common to all Jews, yet our Jewish names reflect our
individual, distinguishing character traits and attributes.

                                            (The Lubavitcher Rebbe)

                                *  *  *


All the soul that came out of the loins of Jacob were seventy soul (Ex.
1:5)

The Children of Israel are referred to in the collective singular,
"soul," whereas Esau's descendants are described in the plural, "souls."
The sphere of holiness is characterized by awe of G-d,
self-nullification and unity. (Think of two royal ministers, who,
despite their disagreements, become totally nullified and united in the
presence of the king.) The opposite of holiness, however, is
characterized by disunity.

                                 (Siddur, with notes from Chasidut)

                                *  *  *


An angel of G-d appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of the
thorn bush... but the thorn bush was not consumed (Ex. 3:2)

A person is likened to a tree of the field: the Torah Sage is a
fruit-bearing tree and the simple Jew is like a tree that does not give
fruit. Nonetheless, the "flame of fire" burns precisely in the "thorn
bush" - in the simple Jew. A Jew who prays and recites Psalms with
simple faith in G-d possesses a fire of holiness derived from purity of
heart, even if he does not understand the words. Furthermore, the "thorn
bush is not consumed"; the burning flame of the simple Jew can never be
extinguished, as he is perpetually thirsty for Torah.

                                                (The Baal Shem Tov)

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                            IT ONCE HAPPENED
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Chasidim thronged the roads to Zhlobin, Ukraine, making their way to the
wedding of the daughter of Rabbi Dovber (the second Rebbe of
Chabad-Lubavitch) and the grandson of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev.
This wedding became known as "the Great Wedding in Zhlobin."
Anticipation ran high, and as the wedding day approached, the
preparations intensified.

The bride and her family arrived in Zhlobin a few days before the
wedding, led by her grandfather, the founder of Chabad Chasidism, Rabbi
Shneur Zalman, and his son, Rabbi Dovber, later to become the Mitteler
Rebbe. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak and the groom's family arrived in Zhlobin on
the eve of the wedding.

Rabbi Shneur Zalman told his son to go and greet Rabbi Levi Yitzchak.
Rabbi Dovber blanched and said, "Father, you know that he is upset with
me because I teach Chasidut at length and in public! I am afraid to go
to him alone."

"Please go, my son, and don't be afraid," said Rabbi Shneur Zalman.

Rabbi Dovber put on his coat, took his walking stick and went to see
Rabbi Levi Yitzchak. He fearfully entered the room and his fears were
founded. As soon as Rabbi Levi Yitzchak saw him, his face crinkled in
surprise and displeasure. He got right to the point without greeting
him, and without hiding his annoyance.

"Are you allowed to reveal this great and wondrous wisdom? It is
forbidden to speak about these secrets to people who never saw the face
of our teacher, the holy Baal Shem Tov!" He pointed at Rabbi Dovber and
said, "And he reveals them openly, before the masses!"

Rabbi Dovber rushed out of the room and returned to his father in great
dismay. "Father, the tzadik's displeasure stands, and I am afraid."

Rabbi Shneur Zalman understood that it was important to resolve this
issue before the wedding festivities began, and he went along with his
son to to straighten things out. The two tzadikim met and warmly greeted
one another, then sat down to talk.

"Why are you so upset with my son, Berel?" asked Rabbi Shneur Zalman.

Rabbi Levi Yitzchak thought for a moment and then replied, "You know
that this is not my prohibition, but an instruction from our Rebbe (the
Maggid of Mezritch), not to teach Chasidut in public unless he saw the
face of the Baal Shem Tov. How could your son say such deep thoughts?!"

Rabbi Shneur Zalman replied, "My son, Berel, only says what he heard
from me, and I saw our master, the Baal Shem Tov."

"In a vision or literally?" Rabbi Levi Yitzchak pressed.

"When awake, of course!"

"If so, then let us hear what he has to say."

Rabbi Dovber trembled. He was being asking to do the most difficult
thing of all: to say Chasidut in front of the two tzadikim. Having no
choice, Rabbi Dovber began saying deep Chasidic discourses, and the two
tzadikim sat and listened closely to everything he uttered.

Rabbi Dovber was completely immersed in what he was saying, and was
removed from his surroundings as he climbed the lofty and pure spiritual
heights. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak perceived the secret of secrets of Torah in
what Rabbi Dovber was saying, words that shone forth from their very
source, and saw with his divine inspiration that their source was at the
very highest level.

Rabbi Levi Yitzchak's spirit exploded with holiness until he couldn't
restrain himself anymore, and he got up and wrapped Rabbi Dovber's face
with a talit, saying, "Oy, G-d forbid that the fiery angels should be
envious of you. Beware of an evil eye."

He then turned to Rabbi Shneur Zalman and said, "Even the great Rabbi
Shimon Bar-Yochai, the Rashbi, didn't reach such a high and lofty
source. How did your son?"

Rabbi Shneur Zalman thought deeply and it was apparent that his holy
spirit was in another world, but after a while he responded: "When this
son of mine was born, I planned on naming him Hamnuna, after Rav Hamnuna
Sava, whose soul-source was in the most exalted hidden worlds. This name
was appropriate for the level of my son's soul, but our Rebbe, the
Maggid appeared to me in a dream and told me to name him Dovber (the
Maggid's name). So you should know that my son reached such concealed
and lofty secrets, because the source of his soul is with Rav Hamnuna
Sava."

Rabbi Levi Yitzchak insisted that Rabbi Dovber have the honor of exiting
the room first. "You have taught me," he said humbly. Rabbi Dovber
deferred to his father and to Rabbi Levi Yitzchak. Each tzadik gave the
other the honor, and there was no solution. So the Chasidim broke the
walls of the doorway and the three tzadikim left together.

As told by Menachem Zeigelbaum, adapted from Beis Moshiach Magazine

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                            MOSHIACH MATTERS
*********************************************************************
The rejoicing of a groom and bride is one of the greatest expressions of
Jewish happiness. This rejoicing heralds and precipitates the ultimate
rejoicing as expressed in Jeremiah's prophecy: "There will be heard ...
in the cities of Judah and the outskirts of Jerusalem ... the sound of
happiness and the sound of rejoicing ... the sound of a bride and the
sound of a groom." Therefore, everyone, and particularly the members of
the family, should participate in this celebration as a preparation for
the "eternal rejoicing" which will characterize the Era of the
Redemption.

                           (Hitvaaduyot of the Rebbe, 5744, Vol. 3)

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                END OF TEXT - L'CHAIM 1103 - Shemos 5770
*********************************************************************